Composition Culture’s “Win Some Green for Christmas” Writing Contest

Congratulations to DeLane Phillips for her winning entry!

 

By DeLane Phillips

The Chasm

            Billy Graham says there’s a chasm between me and God. I have no idea what a chasm is, but it must be pretty big for a man to have to die just to get me across it. Momma! Momma! “What?” “Billy Graham says that sin causes a chasm between me and God.” “A what?” replied Mom? “Are you watching the cornbread?” she cried from the laundry room. The light reflected off the paneled kitchen cabinets.

            Mr. Graham’s voice echoed through the kitchen. I looked through the oven door window at the gold crust beginning to appear on top of the iron skillet. The music was starting and Mr. Graham was extending an invitation for me to come, chasm and everything. Momma taught me how to make cornbread. She told me to use the iron skillet. She even taught me how to season the pan just right.

            Something deep inside me wanted to accept this invitation, given by a man talking on a black and white television. But at the same time, something rejected it. Was it the chasm? Looking around the kitchen to make sure no one was watching, I bowed my head and asked God to take the chasm away. Seeking an affirmation greater than my 12 years, I asked that Jesus to come into my heart.

The Pew

It was August and outside the little Methodist church, and we were melting. I had looked forward all week to the “sanging” we held once a month at church. This time it was different. I had been thinking about the chasm ever since the night I first heard about it from Mr. Graham. I was thinking that maybe I needed to go down to the altar and really get saved. You know, make it public and all like the preachers say.

            Inside the church the air conditioning quickly cooled off our sweatiness. The upright piano had been rolled out, down front and center with had the top propped open. Someone was going to really play that piano this time.  

            My mother, brother and me always went to the St. Stephens United Methodist church on Sundays while Daddy stayed home and slept. He worked at the General Motors Plant in Atlanta all week and he was tired. I wonder if Daddy has a chasm? Anyway, Daddy decided to go with us to the sanging.

            My brother and I sat down on the cool, smooth oak pews. I loved the smoothness of the polished wood beneath my hands. Momma always sat where she could look in the mirror on the piano down front and see me in the reflection. She saw me that time Bobby threw a spit ball at me. I couldn’t retaliate because Momma was watching me.

            The music was exciting and lively, not like that apoxology thing we sang on Sundays. Everyone was having fun. The night was long. No one seemed to care about getting out on time. Then things got serious. I knew this was it. The moment I publicly crossed the chasm or whatever that thing was. But something happened that shocked all of us, even Miss Head, the red- headed widow and her sister. Daddy, big, strong and tall, stepped out from the oak pews and made his way down the aisle, past all the pews, toward the altar. Tears sprang to my eyes. Tears sprang up in everybody’s eyes. My father, the big man who worked at General Motors all week, slumped down in tears on the altar. Maybe carrying that chasm around made him tired. I couldn’t bear Daddy down at that altar all alone by himself trying to get across the chasm to find God. Everyone in the church was crying. The music sounded like Billy Graham’s. Something about just as I am, I come home. Slowly, I stepped out, and walked down the aisle towards Daddy. I felt like I was crossed a chasm before I got there. I knelt beside Daddy and we crossed the chasm together. Now we have to get baptized.

            We got home late that night. Momma sat rocking in the den and crying. I couldn’t figure out why. I mean, Daddy and I don’t have a chasm anymore and we’re going to heaven. That just leaves my little brother. Why would anyone cry? But she did. She just sat there in that rocker, rocking and crying, rocking and crying.   

The Cousin

            “You gon’ smoke since you got saved?” My cousin and her partner in crime stood watching me. I had no response, just like Judas, or was it Peter? I was too embarrassed to stand up to her. I really wasn’t interested in smoking but for all the Jesus in the world I did not want to look uncool in front of my cousin and her friend. I didn’t reply.

            My cousin had everything I did not. Both her parents worked so she got to roam around town on Saturdays and go shopping. She had a maid at home to take care of her. They stocked the pantry with Ruffles potato chips, Oreo cookies, and bologna for sandwiches. Momma made me eat peanut butter on whole wheat or tuna, apples or oatmeal cookies. My cousin even got to eat white bread. My oatmeal existence envied her oreoness.

            Standing there in front of the two with their Salem cigarette packs, I wanted to crawl under a bushel and hide. I’m sure they would have given me a light. I couldn’t figure out which was worse, eternity in hell or saying no to the two of them. All I could muster was “I got baptized.”

            All the excitement and emotion was just a memory now. Daddy and I gettin’ baptized in my uncle’s lake. Momma had a new dress made for me just for the event. It was pink and white gingham, with white lace. When I got in the water it floated up to the top. Daddy cried and when he came up out of the water he raised his arms high. He cries a lot in church. The widows hug him every Sunday. He reads his bible every morning before he leaves for work. I wonder if my cousin has a chasm? She doesn’t seem to be worried about it. The bible says that the deceiver asked Jesus if God would really take care of him if he jumped off that cliff. I wonder if Jesus felt like I do right now?  I just want to go home and hide away in my room with those yellow rosy curtains Momma made me. I think I would even enjoy the oatmeal cookies.

 

Hurry Up–Get to the Point!

In our fast-paced society, we are familiar with phrases like, “Hurry up,” and “Get to the point.”

 

We are Americans; we want it yesterday.

 

 

Did you know the writing style that is in a hurry to get to the point is called direct writing? As you might guess, the opposite is called indirect writing, which delays the main point. Both are common in business communication and work well in other disciplines also.

 

 

For example, if I want to share good news with you, I should use direct writing. I would get right to the point (or purpose): “Congratulations! You made an A- in our class!”

 

 

After getting right to the point, I would explain the reasons for the good news. That might go like this: ”As you know, if you have perfect attendance in our class, you receive three extra points. Your final course grade is 87, but the three extra points you receive for perfect attendance raises your final grade to 90. Instead of a B, you have an A- in the course.”

 

 

After the explanation, I would end my letter with a positive closing, such as, “Again, congratulations on perfect attendance this semester and for doing well in the class. Thank you for always contributing to our group discussions, and enjoy a blessed summer!”

 

 

As you can see, direct writing follows three steps: 1) get to the point or purpose (the good news), 2) explain the reasons for the good news, and 3) end with a positive closing.

 

What about indirect writing–when should we write indirectly? You guessed it–we should use indirect writing if we have bad news to share.

 

 

For example, I would NOT begin with the bad news. Instead, I would begin with a neutral statement, such as, “Thank you for your hard work this semester. I have enjoyed seeing how you have learned more about public speaking and gained more self-confidence with each speech you gave in our class.”

 

 

After the neutral opening, then I would explain the reasons for the purpose, or the point, of my letter. It might go something like this: “As you know, you missed three classes this semester, and two of them were unexcused absences. In order to receive the three extra points for perfect attendance, all absences must be excused.”

 

 

I could elaborate even more if need be, but this second step of explaining the reasons leads us to the next step, which is presenting the bad news (the purpose or the point).

 

 

When presenting the bad news in this third step, be clear and concise so the reader understands easily. The bad news for this letter might go like this: “Therefore, you will not have three extra points for perfect attendance added to your final course grade.”

 

 

After that, the last step for indirect writing is the same last step as the direct writing style, which is a positive closing. In this scenario, I could end the same way I began by reiterating my appreciation for the student’s hard work this semester and the progress s/he has made.

 

 

Remember, direct writing has three steps, and indirect writing has four steps. When you have good news to share, use the direct writing style and get right to the point. When you have bad news to deliver, wait until the third step to state it.

 

 

Even though these are common writing styles in business communication, the formula works well in most types of writing.

 

 

(Written by Paula Dixon, who teaches BU360 Managerial Communication at Emmanuel College. This information is based on Chapters 3 and 4 of the course textbook, Improving Business Communication Skills, by Dr. Deborah B. Roebuck.)

Ask Dr. Write!

Dear Dr. Write,

 

I am a teacher, and I don’t understand why most students don’t take notes during class.  When I was a student, we always took notes.  Now, I hardly ever see students taking notes in class.  I happen to think taking notes helped me make better grades when I was a student.  Do you know if that could be true?

Thanks for your help,

Frustrated Teacher

 

Dear Teacher,

 

You are right!  Taking notes is an excellent way to help people understand information better as well as remember it longer.  For example, if we listen to a speaker, three days later we will remember about 10 percent of what s/he said.  However, if we listen AND take notes, three days later we will remember about 65 percent of what s/he said.  (We learn this in our CM130 class at EC.)

 

With taking notes, we are able to process information in three ways: listening, seeing, and doing.  First, we are listening to the speaker.  Second, we have to process that information in an additional way as we write it.  Thirdly, we see what is written.  Even when we do not go back to reread our notes, we will remember more of what we listened to that day if we take notes.

 

Sometimes I take notes even if I know I won’t go back and reread them.  If I were a student, I think it would be worth a try.  I would not have anything to lose and would have a better chance of learning more and making better grades.

 

Thanks for your letter!

Dr. Penny Write

 

If you would like to ask Dr. Write for advice about writing, just e-mail cc@ec.edu.

 

Is It “She Looks Good” or “She Looks Well”? It All Depends on Your Meaning

By The Grammar Guru

 

            Sometimes it seems the English language is so filled with vagaries and technicalities that some cruel grammarian must have come up with the rules just to sit back and laugh at us as we struggle to use them.  The words good and well are prime examples.  How is a writer to know when to use which word?  For example, are all of these sentences correct?  Incorrect?  A mixture?

            Sarah did good on her report.

            Jim did well on his physics test.

            Karen’s little sister was a good girl today.

            Pastor Chris spoke well in convocation.

            If you said all of these sentences are correct except the first one, give yourself a lollipop.

 As is typically the case in English, there are rules to govern usage of the two words.  Good is always an adjective, and well is usually an adverb.  If well were always an adverb, some of our problems would be solved. 

            Perhaps a little brush up on parts of speech is in order.  For our purposes here, we need to know that adjectives are words which describe nouns and pronouns. Nouns are naming words.  They name persons, places, things or ideas.  Examples of nouns are girl, Sallie, apartment, Emmanuel College, Georgia, basketball, homework, honor, and faith.  Pronouns simply replace nouns:  I, me, she, he, it, they, we, us, etc.

            Since good is an adjective, we use it to describe nouns:  Karen’s little sister was a good girl today.  We ate a good meal at the restaurant last night.  Dr. Story is a good photographer.

            Adverbs, on the other hand, modify (describe) verbs, adjectives, and other adverbs.  Fortunately for an examination of good and well, we can limit our discussion to verbs.  Verbs are action words such as shoot, dance, sing, jump, and laugh.  I could say Fred shoots the basketball, but if I want to describe the manner in which he shoots it, I would say Fred shoots the basketball accurately or Fred shoots the basketball well.

            Which brings us back to the issue of good and well.  Since good is an adjective, it will always describe a noun.  So I would drive an English teacher crazy if I were to say Fred shoots the basketball good.  In this sentence, I am describing how Fred shoots; I am not describing the basketball.  Since shoots is a verb, I need to use an adverb:  Fred shoots the basketball well. However, if I change the sentence slightly, I would need an adjective:  Fred is a good basketball player.  Now I am using a word which describes the noun player; Fred is a good player.

            Unfortunately, there is twist in the grammar rule:  Not all verbs are action verbs; some are called linking verbs—words like am, is, are, was, and were.  In addition, sensory words such as taste, smell, sound, feel, seem, appear, and look may be action or linking verbs, depending upon their use.  Following a linking verb, we need to use an adjective.  In a sentence such as Jane is beautiful, the adjective beautiful describes the noun Jane.  Or if I substitute a sensory verb for is, I would still say Jane looks beautiful. 

            To answer the question in the headline, would I say She looks good or She looks well?  If I am talking about Jane’s appearance, that means I am describing the noun Jane.  So I would say Jane looks good (looks is a linking verb in this sentence).

            However (and here is the twist) if I am talking about Jane’s health, I would use the word well.  Even though well is typically an adverb, when we need a word to describe health, we use the adjective well.

            To sum it all up, keep in mind the following:  good is always an adjective, and well is an adverb unless it is referring to health.  Then well becomes an adjective. 

If your head is not spinning yet, you may want to try your hand at picking the correct word for the following sentences.  The correct answers are at the end of the article.   See how well you can do at making a good score!

 

1.       Trevor and Hazel play tennis (good, well).

2.       You did (good, well) on your speech today.

3.      That meal Kelly baked was (good, well).

4.      Mr. Stark is a (good, well) writer.

5.      Pastor Chris has a (good, well) sense of humor.

6.      I heard Jim was ill, but now he looks quite (good, well).

7.      That (good, well) steak was (good, well) cooked. 

8.      Did you do (good, well) on that assignment?

 

Answers:  1. Well (well describes the verb play);  2. Well (well describes the verb did); 3.  Good (good describes the noun meal); Good (good describes the noun writer);  5.  Good (good describes the noun sense); 6.  Well (well here is referring to Jim’s health); 7.  Good (good describes the noun steak) and Well (well refers to the verb cooked); 8.  Well (well describes the verb did.)

 

So, how well did you do?  Did you do a good job?

 

To further extend your knowledge, visit the Online Writing Lab at Purdue:  http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/esl/esladjadv.html.

 

And have a good day!

Putting Lipstick on a Pig

Putting Lipstick on a Pig

 

By Grammar Guru

Why do those pesky pronouns persist in rearing their problematic pates?  Part of the reason could be a lack of understanding about types of pronouns and how they work.

 

What if you are not a grammar guru and aren’t interested in learning about subjective case, objective case, and possessive case pronouns?  Can you still learn to use pronouns correctly without knowing grammatical terminology?

 

Thankfully for the grammatically challenged, the answer is yes.

 

Few of us over the age of three, for example, are likely to say, “Him plans to go to class today.”   We instinctively know that the pronoun should be “He.”  We just picked that bit of information up by listening to grownups speak.  The reason we use “he” rather than “him” is that we need a pronoun which can be used as the subject of the sentence (thus a subjective case pronoun). 

Typically, however, errors in pronoun usage occur in compound constructions.  Many have trouble knowing which pronoun to use if the pronoun is joined with “and” to another subject in a compound construction.  Do we say “Him and me plan to go to the movie,” “Him and I plan to go to the movie,” or “He and I plan to go to the movie”?  Or do we avoid the whole problem by deciding to stay at home?

 

The correct pronoun choice in a compound construction can be discovered by breaking the sentence into two:  Say “Him plan(s) to go to the movie,” and “Me plan(s) to go to the movie.”  Obviously, both of these choices are wrong.  That’s because both of the pronouns are objective case pronouns, not the needed subjective case forms.

 

So next we may try “Him and I plan to go to the movies.”  Broken into two sentences, we say “Him plan(s) to go to the movie” and “I plan to go to the movie.”  We are halfway there!  “I” is correct, but the “him” is still wrong.

 

Technically what we have done in joining “Him and I” together is that we have unequally yoked a subjective case pronoun with an objective case pronoun.   Or—to put it in current political parlance, we have put lipstick on a pit bull—or a pig, depending upon your political persuasion. 

If you prefer to leave politics completely out of the discussion, you might say it’s like wearing plaid walking shorts with a tux jacket.  It just isn’t pretty.

 

Many well-educated people sometimes make this kind of mistake, especially in prepositional phrases.  In an attempt to be correct, people sometimes “hypercorrect” by saying something like “Would you like to go to lunch with Mark and I?” 

When I hear that, clanging sounds go off in my head, I swoon, and someone has to scrape me off the floor because the speaker has unequally joined two words together.  What the speaker has literally said is “Would you like to go to lunch with Mark?  Would you like to go to lunch with I?”  The “I” may sound pretty and educated, but it is simply the wrong pronoun.  In that sentence we need to use “me.”  “Would you like to go to lunch with (Mark and) me?”

 

It should come as no surprise that there is a grammatical reason to use “me” in the above sentence.  For those of you who are still reading and may have a touch of the grammar guru in you, the reason is that for objects of prepositions we need to use objective case pronouns.  (See the connection?  Isn’t that clever?)  But the above speaker has come up with a sentence that sounds neither educated nor pretty.

 

That pit bull (or pig) is wearing lipstick again!

 

Would someone keep him out of my makeup bag, PLEASE!

(For more information on pronoun usage and pronoun case, visit http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_proncase.html. )